It is wonderful to have a friend who knows you well, with whom you have walked for many years. With whom you can share everything; who knows your story. With whom a conversation does not start at zero, you can just jump into it. To have a person who understands and who knows you, is a great gift of God.
However, sometimes not even a friend can reach my heart. This is an odd experience. Sometimes we are just left with ourselves, left alone. We cannot find a partner that adequately responds to our feelings, our story, our thoughts, situation or needs. But these moments that can be filled with darkness and sadness can also turn into a very precious experience. The situation breaks us open to realize that our loneliness is not an accident, but the reflection of our deepest call as human beings that goes beyond what another human being can grasp or understand. We realize that our loneliness touches the dimension of God; it is a result of the fact that we are immediate to God. This is the monk’s moment. The term monk stems from the Greek word “monachos” which means “single, solitary”.
Through God’s grace, we are able in these moments of aloneness to talk to Christ or to God and find his ear. And his response is always exactly what we need. We realize: HE understands, HE knows. His presence resonates with everything I utter and express. I feel understood, appreciated, loved. I feel liked by him as by a good friend. But even better, and in a perfect way. Nothing is missing.
One of my favorite Psalms comes to mind: Lord, you know me. You understand my thoughts from afar. You formed my inmost being. My very self you know. (cf Psalm 139).
As we leave this our inner “cell”, which is more than a room, we become open for any kind of God-filled relationship. We feel connected with the world and with everybody or everything that crosses our way. Because we are connected again with ourselves and with God.
Lord, you are my best friend; you are better than any friend ever could be. Give me good friendships and help me to maintain them. Open my heart to you when I feel lonely. Let me not give in to despair or sadness, but instead make me seek your presence. You know me. You understand me. How precious this is for me to know!
Wilde Monk 
Fr. Mauritius – What a beautiful post. Thank you for these thoughts of the friend we have in God, in Jesus. Not too long ago, as I was going through my morning prayers and communing with the Lord and was pouring out my adoration for Him, a little voice whispered deep in my spirit, “And I am your Friend.” I frequently think of the Lord as Master of the Universe, Redeemer, Savior, Rock, the Resurrected One; so I was initially shocked with this message. Even though I can read the words in scripture about Jesus, the Lord, being a friend, I don’t think I ever imagined that extended personally to me. Now I know it, and daily give God thanks for being my Friend.
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Thank you, Fr. Mauritius. Before I knew God, I would have these moments of intense existential anquish… I had this sense that no one else could possibly know me. Ever. I was forever trapped in some solitary state of being unknowable. At the same time, there was this longing to be known. To some degree, at some point, God broke through all that. I also took some comfort in Proverbs 14:10 – “Each heart knows its own bitterness and no one else can share its joy.” So at least I discovered I wasn’t the only one who had the experience of being trapped in being unknowable! But I learned from you to embrace the longing, which at its core, was a longing for God. And in that embrace and in that longing, there was the beginning of its fulfillment. And more and more, I find God is present there.
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Beautiful, Steve…as always, you find the words. How blessed to have “anam caras”, soul friends, and the deepest friendship in Christ.
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Your thoughts bring peace to my heart today. Your words will be a source for deeper reflection when I sit with God in the adoration chapel this week. Only God can fill the empty places in our hearts. Our longing for God can never surpass God’s longing for us.
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Fr. Mauritius… this blog spoke to me! For most of my life, I have walked the path of the quiet and contemplative mystic. I have had friends but never one who “got me.” Nature has always been my comfort and inspiration. I am new to being a Christian and am going through my RCIA classes now. It has not become a habit for me yet to turn to Jesus with my thoughts and prayers. BUT….I am getting there. It seems I have had a dear, understanding and compassionate friend walking with me all along. This brings tears of sadness for missed opportunities of awareness and also tears of hope as I come to understand the love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Bless you and thank you for your gentle presence. ….Lynn ❤
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