What Creates Peace

The Benedictines strive for peace. Because living close together and not having peace is unbearable. What are the elements that help us live in peace? St. Benedict says in his Rule: “If you have a dispute with someone, make peace with him before the sun goes down.” (RB 4:73) It is important to address conflicts as soon as possible and not to allow the problems to accumulate. They are like a poison or become into a tension that one day explodes. That’s why we ask ourselves every night: What did I do wrong? With whom do I need to seek reconciliation? In the morning we celebrate Mass. Jesus warns us to lay down the gifts and not to celebrate if there is not yet peace with a brother or sister (Matthew 5:23-24).

Part of making peace is to forgive. May brothers and sisters don’t always treat me well. But just as they make mistakes, so do I. That is human. In order to continue to live together, I have to forgive them. If I don’t do that, not only the relationship suffers, but also I myself: I am not at peace. We can forgive each other because we know that God constantly forgives us. He forgave us first. Sometimes conflicts are so old, so deep, so complicated that we can’t just forgive in the evening. But we can pray that one day God will give us the gift to be able to forgive. It is a grace to be able to forgive.

Peace cannot not be achieved without justice. “Justice and peace will kiss each other,” says the Psalm (85:11). Reconciliation cannot happen without first looking at the facts and at the truth. This is another way to peace: to have the courage to look at the truth and to disclose it. To confront oneself and – when the time is right – the other person with the truth. Correcting each other (correctio fraterna) in addressing each other’s problems. As paradoxical as it sounds: Not avoiding conflict is also a way to peace. Otherwise, there will be a false peace, as Benedict puts it (RB 4:25). In any case, peace is a great gift from God. We should pray for it. Especially in these days.

Dear God, listen to the cry of so many people suffering from war. Look at situations where hope is lost. Help us to strive for peace in our small world, which I can influence. Give me inner peace so that it radiates from me to those around me. Let me stay close to you, because you are the source of faith, hope, love, and peace. Amen.

Compassion for people with a face like flint

There is so much suffering in the world. Near and far. I think of the people in regions where there is war and terror. Many innocent people have to go through terrible things. Sometimes for a long time. A sentence from the third song of the Lord’s Servant in Isaiah comes to mind: “Therefore I have set my face like flint” (Isaiah 50:7). It is terrible when someone – in order to survive injustice and suffering – has to make their face as hard as stone. Just as Jesus did before Pontius Pilate. Normally our cheeks are soft and sensitive. I remember in my youth seeing mothers testing the temperature of their children’s milk bottles on their cheeks.

What can we, who are not affected by this fate, do when we see the suffering in the news, on social media or in our neighborhoods? At least we can let it touch our hearts. St. Paul says: “If one part suffers, all the other parts suffer with it.” (1 Cor 12:26) Let’s be compassionate! We can carry this suffering to the cross of Jesus on behalf of the suffering people. We can, like Mother Mary stand with her Son, beside the cross. As the ancient sequence Stabat Mater sings:

At the Cross her station keeping,
Stood the mournful Mother weeping,
Close to Jesus to the last. (…)

Is there one who would not weep,
Whelm’d in miseries so deep,
Christ’s dear Mother to behold?

Since the suffering must remain strong and apathetic, since they cannot allow themselves to be emotional or to cry, since they must make their cheeks hard, we can at least be touched by what they are going through. We can cry for them and hope that this cry reaches heaven.

Lord, let me learn and practice compassion. Look upon all those who suffer. Give them strength, give them hope, give them people to comfort them. Let their angels be with them. Let your holy suffering be their salvation.

Skipping along like a Child of God

One of my fondest childhood memories is when I went for a walk with my father, he took me by the hand and I skipped along. In fact, I have seen many fathers or mothers walking like this since then, and one reason for the child’s skipping is certainly that his or her steps are shorter and so he or she can follow more easily. But you also see young animals hopping. It seems to be an expression of youth – and joy. When I see a child skipping, it looks to me as if it wants to get closer to heaven. Every step is a hop.

Jesus says: “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Mt 19:14

Another – perhaps somewhat unusual – thought: children’s skulls are very soft when they are born. So that they can pass through at birth. The skull only hardens over time. Here, too, we see an “openness” of the children towards heaven. They have come from heaven and still “know” it, they are still in contact with it. And in the hands of their loving parents, they still feel “at home” and free and secure, as if they were in heaven.

Have you, dear reader, tried to hop your way again since then? Perhaps your hips or your knees (or your belly) no longer allow it… You could try it. Just a few steps. You too are a child of God!

Instagram vs Deep Beauty

I recently distributed Holy Communion during Mass in a small town. As in many places in Europe, most of the faithful are quite old. It is always touching for me to see the hands that are stretched out to receive the Lord, hands that have been worked through and worked off. The faces too – in many of them you can see – or at least guess – the traces that life has left on people, you can see the traces of much suffering. And they all come to find relief and healing and comfort and the companionship of Christ.

When I saw the faces of the faithful, the Instagram network came into my mind, and I thought that none of them would meet its standards. When you look around the social networks, you realize how much beauty there is. Many people, most of them young or at least not old, show themselves in all their natural beauty. Some of them use a little help to beautify their faces and bodies. Some really remind me of Greek statues, so much beauty can be seen – as invented by our Creator.

But worn-out ones you can hardly find on Instagram. The ones who want to hide. Those who don’t find themselves beautiful. Those who don’t have time to show themselves or simply don’t think it’s necessary. Many feel too old. But I thought: these here, in the church, are indeed the beautiful ones. There is a beauty in them that is extraordinary, that comes from real moments in life, that shows their authentic face (why and what should one hide from Christ?). There was a beauty that comes from within, that comes from the true self, that comes from love for God, that comes from the courage to show ourselves as we are, not to show off or make up or correct or compensate. Everyone is beautiful — if only we look for that beauty. It is there. God sees it. Jesus sees it. We can learn to see it. It’s a beauty that goes deeper than Instagram. It is perhaps … permagram …

Lord, thank you for all the beauty you have created. I thank you that I can come to you even with my unattractive sides. And I thank you for my brothers and sisters, from whom I have nothing to hide. Thank you for seeing the beauty in everyone.

Immediately

The life of St. Benedict, as described by Pope Gregory the Great, is a story with many miracles and many interventions by God himself in the lives of monks and people. There is a special feature in this story: whenever Benedict prays for help in a difficult situation, God acts fast and immediately. In Latin it is called “subito” or “protinus”, “celeriter” or “festinatio”.

This characteristic touched me and I began to consider whether God, when he acts in my life, always acts immediately, without delay. And I found: Yes! Of course, there are things I pray for that don’t happen; it seems that God doesn’t want to fulfill them. My faith and my hope is: he does so for my good. But there is not the slightest movement in my soul, not the slightest sigh that I raise to him, not the slightest need that I share with him that he would not answer.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Matthew 7:7

“What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish?” Luke 11:11

In general, we believe that God hears our prayers, even if he does not always follow our will – just as he did not when Jesus asked him to let the cup pass. This may be the reason why we often don’t expect a positive answer from him, at least not immediately. But here too, every hair on our head is counted. The father is not at all indifferent to what his son or daughter does and how they are doing. Perhaps a key to this question can be found in the fourth petition of the Lord’s Prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread.” Jesus recommends that we pray in this way: He knows that we constantly need bread, but he gives it to us “today”. He asks us not to look back or too far ahead in our prayers. “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.” (Matthew 6:34). He gives us exactly what we need and what we pray for – now! He can do it, because he is beyond space and time and can intervene at any time. If he does it “today”, why shouldn’t he do it tomorrow? It is a good exercise to really watch how and when God answers our prayers. Sometimes we overlook the traces of his answers. They may be subtle, but they are effective. According to Gregory, it is a characteristic of God’s nature that he acts immediately.

Lord, strengthen my trust in you. Never let me doubt your fatherly mercy. Thank you for giving me what I need today. Come quickly and hasten to the aid of all those who have no voice to cry out to you.

Our Struggles … in the Heavens

Some things we experience are so disturbing, for example battles between peoples, the arising of wars, but also fights between individuals, and even struggels within ourselves, that it is difficult to find an explanation, a way to understand. In this distress, the Bible offers a way of interpretation:

“For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.” (Eph 6:12)

The enormity of strife and terror can be so overwhelming that an explanation within the framework of our worldly categories is not sufficient in order to comprehend and understand. It is some consolation for us to believe that what is fought out on earth has a counterpart in the spiritual worlds, in the heavens.

“I have seen Satan fall like lightning from heaven”. (Lk 10:18), Jesus said when he rejoiced that his disciples could cast out demons in his name. If this is so, then when we see a hopeless situation on earth, we can turn to our Lord Himself to help us with His spiritual powers and fight the evil from above. This will make all the difference. We can ask him to send his Holy Spirit, whose fruit is peace, joy, gentleness, patience, and self-control, and who is stronger than any evil spirit. And we can turn to Mary, the Mother of God; at the birth of her Son angels proclaimed peace on earth. May she also intercede for us from heaven.

Holy Mary Mother of God, Mother of Grace, You are called the Queen of Peace. We bring you the whole of humanity with its fears and hopes and we ask you: Guide us all in our search for freedom and justice. Guide the steps of all people on the path of peace. Be close to those who suffer and those who flee. Be close to those who govern us to dare to take the steps of peace. O Mary, Mother of God and our Mother!

How to Deal with Divisions – in Politics, Religion, and Family

During my vacation I had the opportunity to travel and talk to many people, people with different opinions and political and religious views. My impression was confirmed that the “fronts” are hardened. Even if you want to stay in the middle ground, there is a dynamic that pushes you into one bubble or the other. For the Church, this is certainly to her disadvantage. For our countries, it probably is also. So how can we deal with the fact that we are divided? I see three ways. They each depend on how I determine distance and closeness.

1.    I keep my distance from the other group. I do not want anything to do with them. I do not agree with their views and do not see any way I can reconcile that. I am not even willing to do that, because I am convinced that there is nothing to negotiate or agree on.

>> That’s fine. Only I would recommend applying Jesus’ word: Bless those who curse you (Luke 6:28), pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44). Do not curse them, but bless them. From the distance, which is best for both at the moment, I throw a small blessing across the river, just asking the Lord: Please, bless them. And then I let the Lord do it, without engaging myself.

 2.   I don’t avoid the others. Maybe I can’t. And in some ways I don’t want to, maybe because the others are part of my family or we have had a good relationship in the past, a good history together.

>> I focus on what we have in common. On common goals. I leave aside what is different and appreciate that we have grown differently. It is what it is, right now. I don’t avoid it, but I keep focusing on the things that connect us. And enjoy them.

“Is Christ divided?” (1 Cor 12:13). No, he is not.

3.   If I have a very good relationship with someone; if I really respect and appreciate him or her, I dare to raise the controversial issue. I honestly say how I see things, always speaking of myself and my experiences. Then I listen to how the other person sees it. I do not necessarily look for a harmonious outcome of the discussion and am willing to suffer from the fact that we do not come together. But we are still together.

It is worth consciously discerning what kind of closeness or distance I want to have, respecting my intuition. In all three ways, I don’t break completely with the other side, at least in my thoughts. It is not easy to have love and truth together. But if we don’t try, the division will grow, and that will not be a good end for either me or the other.

When a house is divided against itself, the house cannot stand. (Mark 3:25)

Lord, it is you who can bring us together. Through your suffering, death, and ressurection you have set us free. Be with us all. Let me pray before I speak and act. Let truth prevail. Let love prevail. Your will be done.

Hilarious

Sometimes it’s just too funny. There are moments in children’s lives that are so hilarious; how they look, how they act, how they respond, what ideas they come up with. Years later, our parents would still remember these stories and share what we did when we were children. The kids might be exhausting, annoying, but suddenly there’s a moment when something funny happens, and they’re just hilarious.

I’ve wondered if we couldn’t keep that sense of love, reverence, and humor for adults as well. In communities we not infrequently get on each other’s nerves, could send people to the moon – what if we could look at them in that other way and just – smile? What makes us smile about children is that they are simply lovable in their imperfections. O how much would that help our community life? I always see that as a special grace when God gives me that moment that someone who is not going to be the next saint is just lovable in his imperfection. I’m not saying we should ridicule people, we do that too often. I’m not saying we shouldn’t make sure things are done right. But sometimes a situation is perfect just in its imperfection.

Lord God, I wonder if you smile at me sometimes? Accept me as I am, as your beloved child. Help me on my way to perfection. Let me accept my imperfections so that I can grow.

The Morning Kiss

Recently I was a guest in a family. I witnessed a little conversation between the husband and his wife. It was in the morning. He was about to leave for work, she was still sitting at the breakfast table. She said, “You haven’t given me a kiss yet”. She said this without resentment. She was just reminding him. He kissed her immediately. It was nothing special, nothing extraordinary, not even worth mentioning. And yet: I realized how important this ritual was for them. This kind of ritual is important for each of us. To tell someone in the morning, I love you. To show it and tell him. And to receive the same gesture; to hear: I love you.

God has given us the gift and the ability of intimacy. It is a grace to be able to express our love to the other. The same is true for our relationship with God. How could our relationship with God, who has given us this gift, be different? We can express our love for Him in similar ways: a little morning prayer, a little “hello” to God, the kiss on the icon. Everyone has his or her own way.

When the soul receives a kiss from the Godhead, it stands in complete perfection and bliss. (Meister Eckhart, DW I,172-4.6)

Intimacy needs signs and gestures. The daily kiss does not have to be overly authentic. I can’t fully express what my innermost is every day. The ritual is important, the fact that I just do it. It has an effect. Its regularity as an effect. It is to remind me, God loves me. He loved me yesterday, He loves me today, and He will love me tomorrow. I want to hear that from Him every day. I need it. And I think he wants to hear it from me, too. We should not miss our “morning kiss” with Him. I should do it even if I don’t feel like it. Feelings change. His love remains.

He may kiss me with kisses of his mouth! Yes, your love is more beautiful than wine. (Song of Songs 1:2)

Lord, you asked Peter: Do you love me? You wanted to hear from his love. He answered, Yes, I love you; you know that I love you. I pray with his words: “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Show me your love and tenderness, every day.

The more one is set above the rest

When St. Benedict speaks of the leaders in the monastery, the abbot, the prior, the treasurer, the priests, he does not spare stern words reminding the confreres of their responsibility. In times when power issues are at stake not only in the Church but also in organizations and nations, these passages of the Rule of St. Benedict are interesting. For example, he says about the prior:

“The more he is set above the rest, the more he should be concerned to keep what the Rule commands.” (RB 65:17)

The Rule is an instrument for controlling power.  It is not uncommon for people to be elected or appointed to leadership positions, in Church, politics and business, who do not follow the rules. People who violate boundaries and break rules meet with a lot of understanding. The reason: They seem to be strong. If they dare to break rules, they show that they are above the rules (and thus can control them in the future). This applies not only to laws and regulations, but also to everyday behavior: People who get up in the middle of a meeting to take a phone call; people who come late to a meeting or leave early – clearly, this shows how important they are. People who don’t speak on the topic that’s on the agenda, but bring up completely different things (that are in their interest, of course). People who disregard levels of communication and especially levels of hierarchy by bypassing people who should be informed or addressed first; people who disrespect evolved structures in an organization; people who say “Why shouldn’t I break a rule when I can just say ‘sorry’ afterwards?” All of these behaviors fall on fertile ground and are especially attractive when there is fundamental dissatisfaction in a group. Either the rules are no longer appropriate, or they are not being followed anyway.

For St. Benedict, following the rules is rather a qualification for more responsibility. My experience is that – at least in organizations that are not totally corrupt – the problem is that the rules are not followed. A simple but painful example is all the cases of abuse in the Church. The problem was not the rules, but the breaking of the rules. If we allow people whom St. Benedict calls “despisers of the Rule” (RB 65:18) to be in charge, an organization or community can never heal because it has given power to a narcissist.

Dear God, our communities need good leaders. Protect us from people who want to serve only themselves. Let us respect your commandments. Let us play with the rules that a community has given itself with good intentions. Let us learn to be humble when rules bother us, and let us show respect for our brothers and sisters.

What can I offer personally?

At the center of the Holy Eucharist is the offertory. What can I offer? I can certainly give money in the collection. But the offertory invites us to go deeper. Just as Christ offers himself, I am invited to give myself as well. I can offer myself, personally.

It is not difficult. I can offer my gratitude, as Psalm 116:17 suggests, “I will offer a sacrifice of praise.” I can offer, in some way, who I am at this moment. My situation. And how I am feeling. Nothing is too small to offer to Jesus. Whatever I perceive in myself, Jesus wants to hear it, and he wants to accept it as my offering. Even if I feel like it’s not enough or it’s too ugly – it can become my offering that He wants to transform.

– I feel frustrated. I can offer my frustration.

– I feel fear. I put my fear on the altar.

– I am angry: I give my anger to Him.

– I am proud. I offer my pride to Him.

– I am in pain. I offer Him my pain.

– I am in despair. I offer Him my despair.

– I feel like I have nothing to give: I offer Him just that – my powerlessness, my inability to give Him anything.

Psalm 51 says: “For you do not desire sacrifice; I would give it to you. A burnt offering you would not accept. My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit; a contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not spurn.” (Psalm 51:18-19) When I give what I am, who I am, who I am at this moment, I give enough — and He will accept this as a gift and transform me. It is the humble heart that He accepts.

Lord, let me be awake at the moment of the offering. Let me give myself and hold nothing back. Look at my gift with your kind eyes. Accept me. Lift my soul to You as You lifted Your beloved Son. So let me leave the Eucharist relieved, lighter, more joyful, and filled with Your love.